what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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