id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
