Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
