Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize