how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
