If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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