I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
