Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
