I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize