your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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