i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
