I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
