:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
