the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
