Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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