just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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