My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
