you mean i was at the winter classic?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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