y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
