She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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