office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
