I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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