Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize