so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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