..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
