You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
