It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
