i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize