I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
