Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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