honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
