two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
