but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
