Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
