Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
