I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
