end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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