i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
