yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize