then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
