i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
