idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We named our party play list daddy issues
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
