you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
