He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
