so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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