I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
