I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
