A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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