Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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