i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
