Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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