I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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