you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
