after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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