weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
