did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
