last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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