I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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