I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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