Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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