And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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