So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
