you turned your livingroom into a bong?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
