theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize