TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
