started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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