Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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