exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think a kid would responsible me up
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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