He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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