I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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