i think my tv is drunk
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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