I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
