I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
